This is an October 1996 message from Lady Frances to the HOUNDS-L list, originally with the subject line "Re: DYIN timeline". Lady Frances has graciously granted permission to reprint her witty and delightful post here. At the beginning, Lady Frances quotes from an earlier Hounds message about unexplained time lapses in the DYIN story.
Our very own drunken groom wrote:
[snippity-snip]
>>Dr. Watson then sees Holmes, and has another short conversation (say 30
>>minutes, at the most) with Holmes, at which time we are told it is 4 PM.
>>
>>Now - something ain't right. So my question is this - What were Dr.
>>Watson and Mrs. Hudson doing during those missing hours, which we don't
>>know about?
>>
>>scribbled by a drunken-looking groom, ill-kempt and side-whiskered,
>>with an inflamed face and disreputable clothes
Forget Mrs. Hudson and Dr. Watson. What were Watson and Holmes doing those two hours? [I'll try to keep this at a "G" rating.] Holmes says:
(After jumping up and locking the door...)
"You won't take the key from me by force, Watson. I've got you, my friend. Here you are, and here you will stay until I will otherwise. But I'll humour you." (All this in little gasps, with terrible struggles for breath between.) "You've only my own good at heart. Of course, I know that very well. You shall have your way, but give me time to get my strength. Not now, Watson, not now. It's four o'clock. At six you can go."
And later...
Suddenly he sat up with a rigid intentness upon his haggard face. "There are the wheels, Watson. Quick, man, if you love me! And don't budge, whatever happens--whatever happens, do you hear?"
Sooo.... The door is locked, Watson and Holmes are alone in the bedroom, and Holmes is in his jammies. Are there AHEMual innuendos here, or is it just a lack of good writing on Watson's part that leads us to wonder/question/believe that AHEM may/could have taken place? ;-)
Now, this is not the *first time* this part of the story has been brought to the attention of the Hounds, so don't go flaming *me* cuz I'm not the one who first brought it up. (Besides, my asbestos bloomers are still at the dry cleaners.)
Perhaps this time 'round, the Freudian readers in the group would like to put in their two-pence? And now if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to go rinse out my mind with soap...
Sincerely, Lady Frances (Is my Freudian slip showing?) Carfax @:*)
Now there's a guestbook from which I will copy the comments. Sample comments would look like this: