W tried to get up enough enthusiasm to ask for H's explanation, but he had trouble shaking off his anxiety and tension.
"Don't, my dear Watson," H said, without even turning around. "You need not make the effort just yet. I realise your mind is on other things." He smiled with satisfaction, then rose to ring for the butler. H turned around slightly to steal what appeared to be a wicked glance of interest at W.
W turned away quickly from H and looked out the window in hopes of escaping that piercing glance. He could not calm himself due to an uneasy dread.
Soon H sent the telegram off and afterward closed the door softly, leaving them alone again.
Still steadfastly facing the window, W asked with his best attempt at interest, "So you've solved it, then?" He pulled out his little notebook and pen from his inner pocket, waiting for H to respond to this prompt with his usual explanations and deductions.
H, however, crept stealthily near and tapped W's shoulder, making the doctor jump and drop his notebook. H chuckled quietly. "So tense! You are developing quite a nervous disposition, Watson." H picked up the dropped notebook and offered it back with a delighted smile. "Do you think I shall bite?"
W, having backed away, returned briefly just to retrieve his notebook. "You have an unfortunate love for the dramatic," W scolded him. Glancing at H's countenance, W fancied that he was being eyed with the excited pleasure of a hungry cat stalking and nipping at its prey. W frowned to himself and turned to the window again, not enjoying his imagination's abstracted view of H lately.
H crossed his arms and tsked softly, "And you have a recent primness towards me."
W cleared his throat sternly, still looking disdainfully away. "Were you lying just now about your case, or do you have a solution?" he challenged, again trying to get H started on his explanation.
H ignored the query, continuing on his own subject. "Yet I appreciate this primness of yours anyway--perhaps more than you think," he laughed.
W heard H step nearer to him and moved to retreat again. Holmes halted him, though, by reaching out and taking W's notebook from his hand. W turned to see H fling it casually across the room. "Holmes!"
Laughing, H cheerfully approached W and placed a hand on his shoulder, restraining his departure and whispering to him, "Now, doctor, what is my penance?"
Pulling H's touch off of him, W found his voice difficult to master. "Penance?"
H grinned at W's pretended ignorance, gripping W's sleeve now. "My dear fellow, you know that I observed your marked disapproval for my actions back there in the kitchen--and don't think that I am not proud of how sharp your eye has become for spotting my methods at work!" H pursed his lips, looking eager. "This painful aversion of yours to my ploy tells me clearly that I shall be required to do something to remedy the matter, as I did in the days after the Milverton affair."
W turned sharply at the mention of that case, looking at his feet. "It--it isn't funny, Holmes." W grimaced and inwardly cursed Holmes for being so damn easygoing about these incidents. To Holmes, there was nothing as significant as the solving of his cases--all else, including a person's tenderest feelings, were trifles to toy with and consider as an after-thought. "You did real damage."
H's tone changed at W's reprimands, and he pressed again, "My dear fellow, I do not mean to be flippant. I will gladly atone for my behaviour. How does your guilty conscience wish me to make restitution? What shall I do?"
W fancied that H was using the same coaxing, charming tone that he had applied to many a woman. W swallowed.
H still prompted, "Tell me, what challenge shall you set for me now that this case is so swiftly over?"
"Holmes, please."
"Yes?" he hissed, leaning dangerously close.
W panicked when H's fingers lifted up his chin, such that W must meet H's inquiring eyes again. "Stop!" W freed himself forcefully. "Stop it!" He retreated to the window breathlessly and shook his head, whispering, "Sometimes I think that you mistreat people on purpose so that you must make amends."
H raised an eyebrow at that suggestion. "Then I wasted so many years, when you did not ask me to amend anything," he smiled.
W bit his lip guiltily to think of all the times that he had been blind to Holmes's less blatant behaviour in all those previous years. W felt more guilty still in having a momentary wish for the bliss of ignorance again.
H reached to touch W again, but was pushed away. He pouted with disappointment, then sighed. "Shall I earn your forgiveness, then? You will not have me do anything about the cook, but you remain upset."
"I--I don't want anything. Just don't."
H crossed his arms, bewildered and unsatisfied by W's coldness. "You will not forgive me? Over this cook?" H blinked and argued in the way that he once did, before delighting in fulfilling W's demands. "What harm have I done?" he protested, shrugging casually. "What great crime is it, Watson? Perhaps I overstepped myself in the matter of Agatha, but this cook is a self-possessed woman with a husband and an excellent sense of humour. What detriment is it to her if I indulge her briefly with a younger man's pleasing but innocent flirtation? It is a simple exchange of my flattering attentions for the vital data that she does not know she possesses."
W did not respond, keeping his glance averted.
"You still find me chillingly impersonal, of course," H observed. "I cannot help it, Watson. Providing information or a challenging case is all the use that a woman could ever be to me."
Nodding wearily, W ventured toward the door. "Let us go home now, please."
"Watson?" H caught his arm and held on, trying to plaintively soothe W's anger. "Why won't you forgive me? How much worse can it be now than--?" H stopped, detecting W's strained reaction to his touch. He stood back and studied the tension in W's posture. W even closed his eyes and refused to face Holmes, looking pained.
H recalled Watson's face in the kitchen and had a realisation. His eyes widened, and he suddenly laughed, rather loudly. "I see, Watson. Ah, I see now. It is not me, but you who needs forgiveness." H sighed and shook his head. "You had me worried that I had somehow done something unforgivable, but you--" his laughter overcame him, "you are the one that troubles your conscience. You are jealous."
W faltered and gulped, backing away. "Jealous?"
"Yes!" H grinned, following him like a stalking cat again. "You, my dear Watson, are jealous of me. Envious that I, in all insincerity, can casually insinuate myself into the affections of any woman I wish, while you have not been nearly so successful in your wooing."
"Holmes, I--" W shook his head, horrified.
H only chuckled more. "My dear fellow, shh," he pressed against W's shoulder confidentially, "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." He tittered, close to tears. "And I could give you a tip or two with the ladies, if you wish."
"Holmes!"
H turned, muffling his laughter in the curtains. "How rich! John Watson, of all men, jealous of me!"
W grasped him by the shoulders, insisting, "Holmes, you're mistaken."
H shook his head. "Not likely. I knew that I'd recognised that look on your face in the kitchen from somewhere; I have seen it on the faces of more than a few 'hated rivals' of mine as I wooed their lady loves." He still chuckled heartily even while W turned him back around, pressing H against the wall. "Hmm," H pursed his lips teasingly, "who was the last woman that I saw you with before your current extended drought?"
W met H's eyes and frowned minutely. "Perhaps I have found other interests."
H merely smiled at him, unconvinced, and raised an eyebrow patiently. "Three continents!" he mocked happily, brushing W's arms with his hands. "I have certainly contended with the best when I am against a world traveler like yourself!"
"Against me?" W stared at H oddly and blushed.
H hushed W by placing his finger upon his lips. He still laughed hysterically, "Wouldn't you agree th--?" Before H could say anything else, W brushed away the intervening finger and kissed him.
H blinked, hardly believing the sudden contact of W's lips against his. H frowned and caught his breath at having his raucous mirth cut off by the unfamiliar sensation of a mustache brushing his face. H tried to clear his eyes and make sense of what was happening.
W gripped H's shoulders rather forcefully to limit his motion and pressed himself heatedly against H's body. H closed his eyes, utterly stunned while W next plundered his mouth with a penetrating, coaxing tongue. This was most... unexpected. Dizzying. H did not resist at all, overwhelmed. He seemed on the verge of collapse, if not for W holding him to the wall.
Ending it at last, W then sighed hotly into H's neck. "Have you ever kissed a woman like that?" he whispered.
"No," H admitted quiveringly, blinking.
W stroked H's jaw, watching his eyes. "Then perhaps I could give you a tip or two with the ladies?" He lightly kissed H's lips again.
H swallowed breathlessly. "Perhaps."
W released H and turned to the door again, exiting.
H need several moments of recovery before he braced himself and followed.
They returned to Baker Street in silence. At home in their own sitting-room again, W sat in his accustomed armchair and plunged straight into his copy of The Times without comment.
H stood staring at W, very unnerved. He wrung his hands together and took a breath. "Watson ... about, about today in the study..."
W would not deign to pay attention.
H pressed on, trying to be decisive. "Watson, I--I was childish and taunting with you, I know. I realise my mistaken and offensive behaviour now, and I apologise." H swallowed, "Although you chose a rather unusual method to teach me a lesson--"
"I did," W confirmed. He put down the newspaper at last and now eyed H with a look that he hoped H would remember. "I believe that I succeeded in that, rather well."
H barely responded, his eyes turned away and his voice low, "Yes, you did. Rather well."
Watching the seriousness in H's eyes, W decided to take a further risk than he had even in the study. He cleared his throat. "I did. However," W shrugged and rose from his chair nonchalantly, "I do not believe that I finished the full lesson, Holmes."
"You--didn't?" H looked up with uncertainty, blinking.
W came to stand close to H again. "Yes," he slid a hand upon H's sleeve, "one kiss is hardly enough to atone for your behaviour." He drew H into his arms and bent his lips toward him. "Don't you agree?"
H's face already showed the answer. "Yes," he said faintly.
Then W kissed H again, quite firmly. H melted against him, his knees weakening. Already W felt H coming close to collapse, and he withdrew a moment, making H moan in protest. Kissing H's neck, W murmured softly, "This lesson might be very... punishing. You may feel the need to lie down..."
H only sighed and bit his lip, his eyes closed. He moaned at another deep kiss from Watson. Carefully sliding a supporting arm around H's waist, W pulled away a bit and turned. H blinked with a frown, but soon was very, very cooperative as W led H back into his bedroom.