He peers in to find H in an almost feminine pose, back turned. H is wearing petticoats, stockings, and a corset, but a lot of bare skin is showing. The corset is loose and open in the back. "Could you tie this up for me?"

Watson just gapes in shock.

"Please come in," Holmes says. "Unlike male clothing, female costume is inconveniently constructed so that one cannot get dressed by oneself. I need to get this pulled tight so I can try on that dress." He nods to a dress on a mannequin nearby.

Watson stares at the the dress, then back at Holmes. He still can't believe it, but he approaches slowly.

"Shut the door," Holmes reminds him. "I don't want Mrs. Hudson to be startled while I work on my disguise."

"Disguise?" Things finally start to make a little sense. Watson comes nearer and then helps Holmes pull the laces tight. "You're working on a case, Holmes?"

Holmes says, "No, not currently. But I'm bored out of my skull and decided to do something with my time, should I in future need to disguise myself as a woman." He takes a breath and insists, "Tighter, Watson."

Watson does so, but stammers, "But y-you've never worn a corset before, or a dress like that. You've always been old ladies before."

"Yes," Holmes says. "Because of my height, and my large nose, I most often disguise myself as decrepit crones with bent backs, so that I can shorten myself and cover myself in bulky shawls and other wrappings. However, I would like to be able to disguise myself as a younger woman as well. A middle-aged widow perhaps, with a heavy veil to cover my face."

Holmes is glancing in the mirror at them, and he notices that Watson is staring at his bare skin, especially his shoulders.

Watson says, "Is this really necessary, Holmes? Surely you could hire a female actor if you needed a woman to act as your agent?"

"But why should we subject some innocent woman to danger? Besides, I want to prove to myself that I can do it. You have often praised my acting ability, Watson, and in Shakespeare's day all roles were played by men. Surely I can do that too?"

"If you really want to." Watson shrugs and finishes tying the laces of the corset.

"Ah, thank you, Watson. Now, if you'll just help me put on the dress as well."

Watson reluctantly helps him step into it, and button up the back.

"Ah, very good. Thank you." He then stands before the mirror. "Now I must pad this bosom sufficiently to fill the dress. I'm going to try socks, but I will need you to judge that they are even and don't shift around when I move."

Watson is more embarrassed and uncomfortable. "Holmes, really, I don't think this is going to work. You look horrible."

"I've not finished yet, Watson! I'll have on a wig and a hat and makeup--"

"Oh dear God!"

"Watson, you have never objected to any of my disguises before!"

"But Holmes, this is so undignified and--and indecent. It's unnatural."

"I have never seen you so squeamish before. Will you help me or not?"

"No." He turned to go.

Holmes stopped him. "Wait, please. Why can't you gather any interest in my project? Would you rather I was bored to death and tempted to take cocaine again?"

Watson looks upset, and Holmes quickly apologises.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean it, my dear doctor. I just, I get so frustrated when there are no cases to solve, nothing to challenge me."

"And you need this challenge?"

"Yes."

"Very well." So Watson helps Holmes work on the disguise the rest of the night.

Once he has on his makeup, wig, and hat, Holmes puts on very low shoes and practices walking so as to make himself appear shorter and more feminine.

Watson gives him as much advice and assistance as possible, but he still feels nervous, especially when Holmes asks Watson to assist him in getting undressed again.

"Please, Watson. I have no ladies maid, nor valet." He jokes, "You can think of me as your wife that you are undressing for bed."

Watson raises an eyebrow.

Holmes looks worried. "I apologise if that was in poor taste."

Watson dismisses it. "I've... undressed other ladies as well. Three continents worth."

"Oh. Yes." H oddly blushes a little, then clears his throat and turns.

So Watson unbuttons the dress and unties the corset laces. He's rather relieved to exit the room.

Holmes stares after him, trying to assess Watson's reaction. Curious, but nervous.

---

The next day Watson is upset to hear that Holmes still wants to work on the disguise. "But I thought you already proved--"

"No, Watson. I was only beginning my disguise. I have not refined and perfected it yet, let alone tried it out in public."

"Public?"

"Yes. What use is my disguise if it's only used at home in my bedroom? I need to try it out in public. You should take me to a concert and a dinner."

"Holmes, no! You can't just--it's probably illegal!"

"No it isn't, Watson."

"It isn't?"

"No, certainly not. Did you think I was doing something illegal when I was disguised as an old crone?" He smiled fondly, and patted Watson's cheek lightly. "Ah, but you readily go along with all my illegal endeavours."

"Are you sure it isn't illegal, Holmes?"

"Yes, perfectly." Holmes pointed out several news clippings that he had on his table about the 1870 Boulton and Park scandal. "Do you remember the case? They had a female impersonation act going in several theatres. As was proved during their trial, dressing like a woman in public is not actually a crime by itself."

"Their trial!" Watson stared at the clippings in horror. "They were arrested and tried for sodomy!"

"And they were acquitted!" Holmes insisted. He said with a shrug, "They were mainly prosecuted for their suspicious lifestyles offstage, rather than their wearing of female clothes. I shall hardly be taking up with a lord and calling myself his wife, shall I?"

"You just said I should take you out to dinner!"

"But not as your wife! I-I can be a sister if you like."

"Holmes, please."

"Come now, Watson. It's only for a night. I cannot resist the challenge, and besides, I might actually need to do it some day for a case."

Watson still grunted.

Holmes put an arm around him. "I'll treat you to a day at the Turkish bath, if you like."

Watson looked interested.

"And I'll play all your favourite songs on the violin. I'll take you on holiday anywhere you like, as long as you like."

Watson added, "And you'll eat and sleep as much as I tell you to."

Holmes smiles with pleasure. "Yes, if you like."

"All right."

"Splendid." Holmes says that he will spend a week practising his mannerisms and etiquette, so that he may successfully impersonate a woman in public.

---

So he gets in costume again and practises a false voice, along with appropriate mannerisms. After a couple of days, he has a special catered dinner with Watson in Baker Street. He questions Watson often about if he is convincing enough.

Perhaps he also asks Watson to dance with him, so he can learn to follow instead of leading. Puts on a gramophone record for music and dances around the room in his arms.

Then Holmes suggests a "dress rehearsal" at Mycroft's house as well.

Watson dutifully assists him in it all, but is still dreading the final test in public.

"You promised, Watson."

"I--yes." But he's beginning to wonder if the deal he made with Holmes was really worth it.

That night, as Watson helps Holmes undress yet again, he cannot take it. He says the deal is off, and he wants to cancel the public demonstration.

Holmes steps out of the dress and acts coquettish, wearing just the corset and petticoats now. "And waste this expensive dress at home? No!" He petulantly tosses the dress to Watson, then sits down at the vanity to untie the laces of his shoes.

Watson just sighs and hangs up the dress into the wardrobe.

Holmes playfully kicks off one shoe before starting on the other. He is pleased that Watson immediately returns to untie his corset laces while he's bent over. "Thank you," he murmurs softly. "You have quick hands, doctor." As the corset comes loose, Holmes begins to shrug it off and then he asks Watson to help remove his makeup. (Watson has not stayed long enough to do so on other nights.)

"Gladly." Watson retrieves the water basin and attempts to wash Holmes's face with soap and water, but Holmes says "You'd do better with cold cream."

So Watson does, getting off all the makeup. Then he rinses the cream off with a sponge. Some water drops onto his skin, following the curve of his neck. Watson watches it and seems to be tempted, leaning close.

Holmes shivers as if cold and lowers his eyelids flirtatiously and hopefully.

Watson licks the water on his neck.

Holmes gasps softly. "Is this... more effective, doctor?"

Looking up again, Watson almost kisses him, but stops and frowns. He understands something now, and he grumbles to himself. "It's ridiculous!" He pulls off the wig and tosses it aside, looking disgusted. Holmes stars to protest, but Watson just pulls him to his feet and drags Holmes to the bed, pushing him down.